Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
