We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
that is very illegal...i love you.
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