Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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