Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
