Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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