help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
