This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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