I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Panties = found
Randomize
