He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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