And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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