worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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