The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
