All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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