I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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