Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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