So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
do herpes really smell.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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