They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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