im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
