Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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