What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
