i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Â
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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