ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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