when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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