Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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