booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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