why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize