I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Acid is not a monday night drug
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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