This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
