Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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