We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
