i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
