Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
