i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
