That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I love you. Go after that dick
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
