dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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