I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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