i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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