ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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