hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
