I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize