We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
