singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
