can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
