Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
