Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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