so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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