so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
