It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize