Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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