i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
