I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
