We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
