did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
