My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
