evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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