she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
