His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Randomize
