We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
