I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Nobody cheats on THIS.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
