i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
