we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
