dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We are two peas in an std pod
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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