it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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