he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
