Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize
