You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
