This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
