i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize