i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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