Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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