Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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