This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
