I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
