All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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