all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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