The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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