Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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