Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
