For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
