Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
